A laugh for your Monday…
I know I’ve been pretty much MIA lately. It’s that crazy thing called life again.
One thing that has definitely helped me in my hustle to stay adrift is muh new “iPad”.
I’ve picked up a few tricks & wanted to share them with ya’ll! most of these will prob work on the iPhones too.
1. FOR SURE this is #1!!!
Put your thumbs in the middle of keyboard & swipe them suckers to the sides…and BAM…it’s a whole new world! Now you can type with your thumbs the same way you do on your iPhone.
2. Accidentally type an extra zero? That’s ok..simply remove it by swiping left to right!
3. Doing some nighttime work? Invert the colors on your device for a better viewing experience!
Inverting your colors will turn the screen black and the text white for less eye strain.Go to Settings > General > Accessibility. Turn on “Invert Colors.”
4. Need it to charge faster?? Put it on airplane mode & it will charge twice as fast! Say what?!?
5. Just for the “iPad” users…did you know that…you can add up to six apps to the home row? AND you can add folders too?
6. For you blog masters like me, getting your blog on when on the go can be made a tiny bit faster when you know this little trick…double click that space bar to add a period & a space & automatically capitalize the next letter.
7. What else can make you blog pros get after it quicker?? A blue tooth keyboard! I love mine! And here’s a dirty little secret…ALL blue tooth keyboards work with your gear! They don’t have to say “iPad” on the box!
Oh ya’ll know…it works for iPhones too!
8. Outsmart that pesky auto correct by adding an extra letter when you want to spell a contraction.
9. This next trick doesn’t really apply to me since my “iPad” & iPhone are strictly off limits to kids…PLUS…my little monsters both got their own iPads for their b-days!
but I thought I’d share for everyone else…you can turn on “guided access” when a kid is playing on your iPad.
Guided Access, once turned on, keeps users from errantly clicking or tapping within an app and ending up someplace they’re not supposed to be, or deleting something accidentally.
First, you need to go to Settings > General > Accessibility > Guided Access and turn it on. You’ll also want to turn on the Accessibility Shortcut.
Triple-click the home button in whichever app you want to turn it on for. From here, you can select any buttons that you don’t want clicked. Or you can also disable the home button while keeping the touchscreen on.
10. Those ear buds are pretty useful for something other than rockin out to your jams!
Just click the volume + button on the remote on your Apple or Apple-compatible earbuds while in camera mode to click and shoot, or the middle button (play/pause) while in video mode.
Obvi…me being The Selfie Queen…this is useful.
But…ya know…here’s a little trick for your jam sesh too…
With the remote of your your earbuds, you can go to the next tack or the previous track while listening to music or podcats.
BONUS TIP FOR YOU Do It Yoselfers: There’s a level in the Compass app!
The thing about people…they love drama and they love scandal…so to say you are playing right into my hands is an understatement. 😉
I’ve always loved that photo of me 🙂 Thanks for picking muh fav!
I was just sitting here with an old “friend” and we were discussing how you are a lying, stealing, piece of white trash shit. We decided to use your own game against you & will be profiting from it. With my awesome new face/spokesman of this venture…. I should have no problem making back the money you STOLE from me.
Peace out bitch. And by bitch…I most definitely mean you Janie.
ps. You are but a mere form of entertainment for me now. I shall sit back and enjoy the show. Let your Carly shine!
We were all shocked to hear the news this weekend that Kidd Kraddick past away.
When Danny walked into our room Saturday morning and told me I thought he was joking. I immediately grabbed my phone & googled.
My heart sank.
It is so crazy that a man can be such a big part of so many lives of people that have never met him! It’s evident by social media & news…that so many people are just devastated by this loss. It also shows us just what an amazing man he was.
I actually met him & the whole Kidd Kraddick crew years and years ago…way before Daynie was born….and I didn’t even know who they were when I met them! I got their autographs just because everyone else was..then ended up throwing it away later. I started listening to them when I started at my current job about 9 years ago when I heard The Mommy Test.
It’s seems so silly that I am so upset by this. But it just goes to show you how we take so much for granted…even the people that are a part of our morning routines and we don’t even realize it.
I know Kidd did so much for so many people.
What I thought about most the whole weekend was Kellie, Big Al, J-Si, Jenna, & Psycho Shannon. My heart ached for them.
And like everyone else my mind whirled around the unknown…will the show go on? What will become of them?
I was so happy to see Kellie post this late last night I reposted it on my IG….
I just felt so much better knowing that Kellie could have that peace in her heart about seeing Kidd in heaven.
WHAT. A. BLESSING.
This morning at 5:30 Daynie & I were on our way to the track & they were playing Friday’s show on the radio…I couldn’t help by tearing up when I heard Kidd’s voice.
I just knew that this whole week they would just play The Best Of to give the staff time to grieve and get things worked out.
I think it is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING that the crew came on at 7am this morning to share their feelings and help the fans through this. What great strength and courage they have! They did a perfect tribute. They told the story, shared their feelings, and made us laugh and cry. It’s so great that they sucked it up and did that for the fans! It’s so awesome that they made it through that show. They really helped the fans. They were the ones closest to him and this was THEIR time to grieve…and they put the fans FIRST. Thank you for that. Just another way that Kidd has impacted lives.
I had to laugh at a comment I read on a local news station’s page…
The commenter said they were channeling Must Be Nice Guy…
“Must be nice to have everyone talking about you Kidd….must be niiice…must be nice to have an entire show dedicated to your memory….must be niiice. Must be nice to be in heaven…must be nice. ”
RIP Kidd Kraddick.
I saw this pic floating around….apparently many people have this idea! LOVE IT.
So I jusss soo happened to have bought 15 flippin pair of flip flops.
& two for Miss Priss.
NOT. MY. FAULT.
It’s their fault:
Their deals are just toooo good to pass up!
I kinda have an obsesh with a certain style of flip flops.
They are just so dang expensive!
So when Zulily had them SUPA cheap…I bought one of every style they had.
They were actually out of my size in a few styles.
Last Friday when this box came:
I was BEYOND excited!
ESPECIALLY when I opened the box to see they had also shipped these bad boys:
This was also tucked in muh box:
It was such a good deal I went ahead & bought it for Daynie for next year. Plus..you never know how long it would be on Zulily…once they run out of a good deal..it’s gone!
Soo…back to my flip flop order…
I got half of my order in the box on Friday.
The other half came Monday…
I have never been so excited to get home & put all my shoes away!
Ha ha! I had to throw about three rows of shoes to the floor to make room for muh new flops!
You can see other awesome deals I’ve scored here.
So ya know. You NEED to check it out. Like NOW.
Bez Check it!
Ugh…Yesterday sucked big donkey dung.
Well…technically it all started the night before. And technically…I may or may not have brought it all on myself.
You see…the other day I did something that…although it was totally hilarious & entertaining & probably well deserved…I feel almost a teensy bit bad about now. I won’t go into the deets of it…but you can only imagine how great it was considering how awesome I am.
Anyhoo..prob the MAIN reason I am regretting it now…is because I believe I opened up a big can of Karma.
The night of the day that I unleashed my extremely amusing antics…it was raining & nasty outside. The kids & I ran into the Dollar Store to grab some milk. I let Daynie and Garridon each carry a gallon of milk. As we were headed to the back to grab some pullups…I heard what I can only describe as a giant water balloon hit the ground behind me and bust open. Then I felt it! ALLLLL the flip over me. Up my leg, my rear, all over my $65 rhinestone flip flops. I turn around to a terrified & embarrassed Daynie…and look down to see milk covering the whole floor and me! My WHOLE backside was covered in milk.
And then…then I had to get into my white chariot and drive all the way home covered in the mess. And it was wet & freezing cold outside. Do you know how hard it is to walk in flip flops that are completely covered in cow juice? I was slippin & sliding and trying not to bust my ass on top of it all.
Fast forward 12 hours…I woke up yesterday feeling like I was hit by a truck, Danny was on day 4 of being an ass wipe, and Garridon…let’s just say he was being his normal whiney baby I don’t wanna wear pants morning self.
Sooo..I started off screaming at G all morning..threatening him with anything I could think of trying to make him get dressed in the pants. I couldn’t find anything to wear…because Danny and I were in a four day long fight that has resulted in a no house cleaning stand off. So needless to say I have mountains of laundry in every room and my house looks trashed. Since I spent all my time screaming at Garridon & chasing him around with a paddle…I didn’t have time to wash my hair in the shower…I had about 2 min to rinse off. My day automatically sucks if I can’t get my 30 min shower in.
I only have one pair of jeans that currently fit me & currenltly they are in the bottom of Mt. Everest in my laundry room..so…I had to wear a pair of jeans that are too big & fit me 35 lbs ago. Threw my hair back in a pony & ushered my kids to the car. That little guy was STILL crying. It’s pouring down rain. And he stands there. In the rain. “because Daynie got in first” Is this kid serious? So I have to put all my stuff down…run out in the rain…physically put him in the car..come back in..load allll my stuff back up in my arms..and BAM! I gotta go to the bathroom. Like right the hell now. So..once again I put all my stuff down…run to the bathroom…whimper because my tummy hurts so bad..then race back to reload my arms with all my stuff…get into the car (where Garridon is STILL crying) and rush to take the kids b/c we are now late. And it’s still cold & raining AND my car is freezing because my remote start (aka Danny) is trying to teach me some kind of lesson…one kid crying..one kid whining it’s cold…flippin world war three going on in my stomach. UGH!
Then when we meet up with my friend so she can grab the kids & take them to school…Garridon is in the back crying and refuses to get out of the car. I felt SOO bad..b/c ONE…my friend was getting soaking wet standing in the rain trying to coax G out of the car…(not to mentin my car getting soaked) and TWO..I felt bad that Garridon’s morning had gone just as bad as mine & now he had to go to school crying..Mom guilt to the max. She finally gets him out of the car..I feel HORRIBLE when I see how wet she is! And then BAMMMM!
It hits me again! I’m thinkin…I can make it to work. So allll the way to work I’m red & sweating & breathing like I’m in labor…hee hee hoooo…HEE HEE HOOO. and PRAYING! Even though I’m wondering in the back of my head..is it too early to ask for prayers after my little shenanigan the day before?
I pull up to work..leave everything in the car…run for dear life…unlock the door..turn off the alarm…grab to open the door to the bathroom…and that’s when it happens.
I chit muhself.
Yes people you heard me right. I chit muhself.
NOT THREE FEET FROM THE EFFIN TOILET…I chit muhself.
The hardest part…trying to maneuver my way out of my nasty, three size too big britches..so I can finish muh bidness.
And as I sit there in horror…and assess muh situation. I felt like a total lame ass freak.
And then I knew!
You put shit out into the world…you get shit back.
Lesson effin learned.
I think every person in the history of everyone has at one time or another (more than likely when they were a child) wished they were a twin.
I also relished in the idea of an instant BFF that I could dress matchy matchy and communicate with in our secret language.
When I grew a bit older and gave up my dream of being a twin..and I replaced it with a new dream of having twins. But I always wanted a boy/girl set. I dunno why.
My fascination with twins definitely followed me into adulthood and may or may not have turned into an obsession.
I catch any and all reality shows that involve twins. Including Tia & Tamara.
I love this duo for so many reasons. The bond between twins has always fascinated me.
But listen…I don’t care if you shared a womb…you gotta draw the line somewhere!
Insert #JanBlogADay topic here: I would do anything for love…but I won’t do that!
Last night while catching up on muh DVR I threw up in my mouth a little….
PEOPLE!! That is Tamera making her sister Tia…TASTE HER PLACENTA!!!
That is even more nasty than when Tamera drank Tia’s breast milk!
You drink my breast milk and I’ll eat your placenta #sisterlylove
I don’t care how close of a bond you have with your twin, you can love that joker til the cows come home, but that’s just over the top, committed, insane. Seriously…for a minute there I thought I was watching Honey Boo Boo.
I think even June would be disgusted with Mowry sister’s shenanigans.
Day 7 of linkin up to these cool gals…topic is shoes.
I have two slight problems with shoes.
Numba one: I have too many.
Numba two: I have no discipline in putting them where they go.
And due to the lack of interesting-ness (awesome people as I can make up any word they like and people like you will always play along for fear of not seeming as awesome) of my own shoe issues…I will now link to 10 freakishly weird Pinterest shoe pins.
1. Can we say….sheer terror with every step?
2. I hope a taxidermist was not involved in the making of these shoes.
3. Never grow up.
4. Because you never know when you’ll need to scuba dive in your evening gown.
5. Casual Friday’s will never be the same.
6. Christian Louboutin had to be drunk when he designed this one.
7. These clash with my catfish capris.
8. Because: PUG IN PUG SLIPPERS!!!!
9. How do you feed Fred?
First of all..
These idiots were outside Best Buy today..
I heard they were there yesterday…
and I heard they are there for the the 40″ $179 tv.
and I heard its a whole family of idiots camping out.
It seems to me if a whole family can take 4 days off of work (assuming they work) and afford a big ass tent like that and the whole campsite shebang..
Then maybe.. Just maybe.. They can afford to pay the extra $200 they would be saving on the tv.
Personally I just think they are trying to get on the news. And they’re idiots.
I was on Daynie’s field trip the other day when I came across this in the bathroom:
Just a thought..
If you don’t already know that is a diaper changing table.. Maybe… Just maybe.. You have no business changing a baby’s diaper. Just sayin.
Like father, like son.
Right in the middle of the floor/ doorway, right next to the basket.
This is my life.
As I was waiting on the buses to arrive at Daynies field trip.. I pulled up and parked next to grandma and grandpa.
And for over 30 minutes they never looked up from their phones.
O. M. G.
Fifth..Over achieving soccer moms at Garridon’s Thanksgiving feast…
Get. A. Job.
Why oh why am I the only one in the house that can throw this stuff away?
This is my life.
I know I’m not the only one that finds McCreepy’s Wally World purchases amusing.
Yes that’s a Furby he is checking out with his lifetime supply of TV dinners and pot pies..thankfully he remembered his 4 cases of diet cokes (they are in the buggy) to take his 4 bottles of Nutritional supplements with.
Not only did the guy fixing our security cameras at work dump alll these giant humungo life savers on our shelf while he was working..
He left them there when he left.
Do hash tags work in blog posts?
Yes that’s Jesus looking up to Elvis who is checking out Marge Simpson.
Classy product placement.
These are the things I am compelled to take pictures of.
these 6 decorative toilet flower pots at someone’s driveway entrance..
Yes.. I said SIX people!
And I leave you with warm fuzzy thoughts of Christmas..
Because nothing gets you in the mood for the holidays like convicts putting up the town Christmas Tree!