Being a Teen Mom addict..

Sooo…how many of you caught the Teen Mom “Being” specials?!?

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I’m only going to tackle the Being Farrah & Being Amber in this post…because…well…obvi those are the two train wrecks everyone gets in a hissy over.

Maci’s was all the way last year & pretty boring. I will say Ryan was less of douche in that episode and Dalis pretty much showed her needy little lame ass.

Being Catelyn was pretty much what everyone expected….they are  the sweetest little couple wise way beyond their years.

Now Farrah…

If you didn’t already know…

Farrah is an attention seeking dumbass.

Here’s my reference to back that up:

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/12/kourtney-kardashian-teen-mom-farrah-abraham-twitter-feud/

Farrah…just close your mouth honey. STOP TALKING.

BTW- I LOVE how they all respond. Especially Scott!

Ya’ll know how I love me some Kardashians!

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Especially LD.

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Back to this airhead:

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This whole show….

ugh!

just ugh.

 

we we all know that this pretty much sums up Farrah…

 

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Well not much has changed with that except now we can add:

 

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Question NUMBER ONE: How many times can you plug your porn?

It’s bad enough Farrah DID the porn…but this whole show she basically plugged it with her “everyone makes mistakes” and “I’m not a porn star” references.

She referred to her porn no less that 328 times in this episode.

But I’m not a porn star.

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Right Farrah.

Another obvious WTF moment:


Did she really just say that? They do NOT look amazing Farrah…they look like someone busted you in your mouth

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Farrah honey stop. You are addicted.

One thing that really aggrivates me about Farrah…she always always brings up the dead boyfriend. AND THAT’S FINE. Obviously that is Sophia’s father & she wants to keep his memory alive. BUT…to blame it on the kid & say she asks about him & misses him? That’s just stupid & annoying.

So…a 4 year old constantly talks about missing a daddy she’s never met? Hmm.

Ya’ll…I totally cringed through this whole episode. She’s just so…UGH!

BUT…this was definetly the most cringe worthy yet hilarious moment of the whole show:

Also…I just want to yank that paci right out of that kid’s mouth. She’s almost FIVE people!

Here’s the full episode in case you want to gag a lot.

 

As if her Being Farrah show wasn’t a big enough train wreck…here’s a little bonus WTF:

Soo…moving on to Amber.

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I dreaded watching this show because Amber gets under my skin like Janelle.

But I was pleasantly surprised by Amber’s show!

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She was actually less The Spawn of Satan & more relate-able kinda sorta

Prison really worked wonders on this girl.

She is so different! Reminds me of Josh (from Teen Mom 3) when he got off the pills and could actually form a sentence.

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Gary is still a fat ugly ogre though.

Leah has turned into a beautiful little girl. You know I was worried for a minute there from her baby pictchas!

Lookin a little too much like her daddy *shudder*

Lookin a little too much like her daddy *shudder*

Leah was VERY excited to be with her mom. It’s amazing & beautiful after all that kid has been through with her mother that she still has that unwavering love for her mom.

The most heart wrenching moment came when Leah & Amber were laying in bed. Leah asked Amber…‘Are you going to be here when I wake up?’

I felt my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.

And I know it broke Amber’s heart too.

The next day she was telling her Grandma about it & here is where my view of Amber REALLY changed.

In case you didn’t catch all that:

As she is telling her g-ma about what Leah said in bed…Leah is unable to hold back tears, and she runs to her bedroom and closes the door.

“I feel so f— bad. I left her for so long and I just don’t f—ing want her to feel that way I know why she’s acting the way she is. She’s afraid I’m going to f—ing leave her again.

“I just hate everything I did. It was all the drugs and s—t. It was all I did. All I did was get f—ed up.”

All I could think to myself is…WOW! Amber FINALLY gets it!

That breakdown she had really showed her change from the selfish drug addict to a caring mother. This change that is so evident in this episode is so so amazing!

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Now I’m not saying Amber is fixed. I’m just saying that she recognizes who she was and the damage she has done and that’s how she can move forward and change.

Another heartbreaking moment was when Gary picked Leah up to take her home…Leah asked Amber, “Mommy I’ll be back tomorrow will you be at jail?”

I’m so happy that Amber used her time in prison for the better and I’m happy for this second chance her daughter has to have a mother.

And on a serious note…we should all pray for these two that it lasts and continues to progress.

On a not so serious note….her hair:

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From her jail special I was horrified by her hair. It looked greasy-slash-hard-slash-wtf .

Well.. Hair explained!

Jolly Ranchers…who knew?

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Pretty much the best birthday everrrr….

Yesterday was muh bday.

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It was awesome! Pretty much one of the best everrr.

I didn’t get my drink on & party like it’s 2001…I wasn’t invited to that party. 

I did something pretty equally amazing though…I spent the day with my family just doing stuff.

I stayed off all social media for the day. I only touched my phone to take pics and answer birthday texts.

Here’s how it went:

First thing to make my bday totally awesome….

I got to sleep until I woke up ON MY OWN.

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Since having kids, work, and a husband…this experience is pretty much non-existent.

Danny just laid beside me and patiently waited for me to wake on my own. Then after I woke he was even more patient and we just laid & cuddled & he rubbed my back. I love mornings like this! Then I rewarded his patience & allowed him to give me my 1st bday present…then I hopped into the shower while he started cleaning the house & making breakfast.

Our plan was to spend the day together at our new land & ride Danny’s new toy…but Danny got called into work for an oil leak…so he was gone pretty much the whole day.

I finished cooking breakfast and enjoyed eating with my two babies and Danny’s parents.

Danny's dad & my goofy kids.

Danny’s dad & my goofy kids.

Then we loaded up & headed out to the land to show Danny’s dad the new place.

I CAN NOT be more excited about our new land!

I am going to do a separate post on this exciting birthday present tomorrow!

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We hung out there for a bit and let the kids run around. Then we headed back to the house. I wish Danny hadn’t been called into work b/c I really really wanted to take his new toy for a spin…

Supposedly…that was MY birthday present. Ha!

Back at the house I opened all the doors and let the beautiful sunshine & breeze flow through the house while I took some time to clean, mop, & even scrub toilets and baseboards. As in on my hand & knees with muh yellow gloves on scrubbin every last inch of the toilet. On my birthday. And it made me happy!

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I also added a few more fall decorations around the house. I LOVE LOVE LOVE fall! November is obvi my fav month!

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Then me & the kids loaded up again and headed to work to clean the office. I love taking my kiddos with me! They are so fun to hang out with & a big help!

We went to Walmart to grab dinner to cook & groceries for the week. And guess what?!?! My kids weren’t crazy little heathens in Walmart! Glory Glory Hallelujah Happy Birthday to me!

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When we got back to the house around 5pm…my parents were there for dinner and Danny was finally home from work. I left Danny to cook our scrumptious meal and my parents and the kids and I headed back out to the land to let them see it. Can you tell I’m excited??

When we got home this yummy goodness was waiting on us…

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All of muh fattening favs. Baked potatoe casserole, Stouffer’s mac & cheese, garlic toast, & Danny’s steak. I’m kinda stuck up when it comes to my steak…I only like the edge piece off the ribeye. Danny cooks THE BEST steak.

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And now…the most AWESOME part of my birthday??

The gifts my dad brought! Starting with this cake he made me!

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Seriously…yesterday morning at the store when I was getting breakfast stuff to cook…I wished I had a homemade cake and even stopped on the cake aisle and looked at the boxes of mix. I haven’t had homemade cake like that in years! It was such a great surprise when my dad showed up with it! It was SO GOOD!

My parents even got me this cool cake server that flips and can be used as a punch bowl! Holla!

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And of course my Si bobble head & Tervis cup!

But my the ABSOLUTE BEST THING HE BROUGHT…

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Gorgeous photos of my AUNT NINA!! (prounounced NINE-UH)

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Obviously I this is the beautiful lady I was named after!

Here is her & my Uncle Eddie…

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I also got her drivers license & her and Uncle Eddie’s SS cards.

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Aunt Nina lived in Florida when she past years back. Her son passed earlier this year so his step daughter sent my dad a some of her things.

This gorgeous photo is my Aunt Nina’s daughter…Dottie…

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She passed before I was born from breast cancer. I have heard of Dottie much over the years but never knew why she died. It’s a bit surreal to hear it was of breast cancer. That means it runs on both sides of my family as my Aunt Nina is my grandfather’s sister and my grandmother also had breast cancer.

See the pearls on her photo? When they opened Dottie’s urn a few months ago to split up the ashes…the only thing inside was these pearls.

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I am SO very thankful that my Aunt Nina’s step-grandaughter mailed them to my dad. I have ALWAYS wanted some kind of jewelry of my Aunt Nina’s to have.  I don’t know if these pearls were ever hers or if she bought them for Dottie or even if there is a story behind them…but I am so grateful that they are mine now and I have a part of my Aunt Nina.

Oh..& what else did my dad bring me??

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My Aunt Nina!

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See the box in the middle? That’s her!

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The box is beautiful! I think it’s so amazing that her ashes are inside! I love having her close!

Shhhh…don’t tell Danny he would probably freak! He hasn’t noticed yet!

Her step-grandaughter shipped her here so my dad can bury her next to my grandpa (her brother).

So all in all it was pretty much an amazingly perfect birthday!

Beautiful Day. Beautiful Family. Beautiful Life.

I am sooo blessed!

oh & to top it off….

when I weighed this morning expecting to see a bigger number from the weekend of yumminess:

 

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Thank you weight loss gods & muh scale for that added bonus of a birthday gift!

I think I’ll roll with it and start the healthy eating today!

I’ll be on My Fitness Pal (mommy_edwards)  loggin like a fool!

And there it is…

This weekend I was at an old friend I don’t see very often’s little birthday get together. We had just gotten done eating and she looked at my mess of a plate of picked apart food and looked at me and said….I think I figured out something..remind me to ask you something later. I was like..umm okay. It seemed a little odd but I wasn’t expecting the question that was to come.

So the next day…I was at church with her & a group of her friends and she saw this guy and said something about how much weight he has lost…then it was like she was suddenly reminded of something and turned to me and said…so how have you lost all that weight? what are you doing? Did you have surgery? (all in one super fast run on sentence). She looked so sure of herself like she just knew and stared at me obviously looking for me to answer only the last question.

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Continue reading

Subway: The Sandwich Nazis

So today I went to Subway…

EAT FRESH.

Am I the only one that HAS to say it after I say Subway?

Nah…didn’t think so.

So N E Wayz (middle school throwback) …I asked for a foot long meatball marinara with the meatballs on the side.

Like I always do.

At every freakin Subway in East Texas.

The lady looked at me like I just asked her to murder a baby hippo and then eat it’s eyelashes one by one.

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At first she looked confused…then very irritated by my request.

Like it is SO DAMN HARD.

So she was all…I don’t know how that’s ganna work.

So I said…well…you put the meatballs in a cup…like your soup cup with a lid.

GASPPPPPP! The audacity of me to even suggest such a thing!

So the lady SERIOUSLY all pissed off grabs a cup and tosses TWO flippin meatballs in it and then is all…

I was like…

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I said…well at all the other Subways they either use a bigger cup or put 4 meatballs in two cups. She was all attitude saying that was the only cup size they had and proceeded to add two more to the cup that 30 sec before could only fit 2.

So I had her add some shredded cheese on top of the meatballs. She set the two cups & bread down to hand off to the vegetable lady.

Big boobed Full attitude Vegetable Lady took one look at my stuff and said…

I said….it’s a foot long meatball marina. She was like…well you going to put some vegetables or something on that bread? I said…no, I want it just like that.

She said…well then I can’t sell you that bread. That would be like just selling you bread. Just bread.

I was like….HUH????? But you’re saying if I add vegetables or cheese or something to the bread then you can sell it to me as a sandwhich?

She looked at me like…DUH and said yeah.

I said…FINE…put some cheese on the bread.

So I get up there to pay and she tells the girl to ring me up for a foot long sandwich with EXTRA CHEESE!!

DUBYA. FREAKING. TEEEEEE. EFFFFF!!!!!

Then I went into full on freak the fuck out mode.

Needlesss to say they took off the extra cheese charge.

SERIOUSLY you flippin sandwich nazis!!!

God forbid you request a sandwich where one thing is out of place. Like you just blew their mind & fried their brain from making them stray from the sandwich chart.

how-to sandwich guide

 

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Like I’m the FIRST PERSON EVER on a low carb diet saving the bread for later!

If I had ordered just the meatballs…they would still charge me for a full sandwich…so I got the bread to take home for the kids later. BECAUSE I PAID FOR IT.

So here’s my sandwich with the loads of extra cheese I HAD to get on the bread.

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I scraped alll that cheese off into a sandwich ziploc bag.

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That’s a lotta freakin cheese.

Yes….I was ticked off enough about the whole experience to blog about it.

Yes…I just wrote a whole post on a sandwich.

And yes….that still makes me totally awesome because you actually read it to the last word!

Welcome to The Nina Show!

Just some randoms….

I caught a couple good reads off of a link post from Kelly today….

First of all…let me say..I’m wayyyy late on the Duck Dynasty train. But..I’ve been catching up on passed episodes via my DVR. It has quickly become my new fav show. Yes..it even surpasses my love for Teen Mom. GASP.

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I know. I know.

I never even attempted to watch with Danny bc I always figured it was another retarded show of rednecks like Swamp People. Simmer down now groupies!

Anyway…I was reading Kelly’s blog awhile back and she mentioned seeing Korie  Robertson speak at Dot Mom 2012. This is what REALLY stuck out to me in Kelly’s post about Korie & made me want to actually check out the show…

“She shared a little about taping the show and how she helps make decisions like when the show wants her to chew out her husband about something in front of her in-laws – she wouldn’t do it because it was disrespectful.  She doesn’t want to be like normal TV that shows wives not respecting their husbands – she wants to show a true Christian home and that is possible to love your husband.”

After a couple episodes I was hooked!

These folks are like the Duggars.

LEGIT.

What you see is what you get.

Some of the experiences on the show might be staged or set up….But who these people are & their personalities & most of all…their FAITH…is as real as it gets.

Everyone’s fav is Uncle Si…but I’m pretty sure my fav is Mrs. Kay

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Here’s a link Kelly posted on her blog today…It’s pretty interesting.

9 Things You Should Know About Duck Dynasty

The more show I see, the more I hear these guys speak, the more I read of fun facts about them..the more I LOVE THEM!

The interview in  waders in the fake duck pond is a little creepy/cheesy (creesy) in Jase’s video..but watch it anyway b/c it’s a good message. I loved it when he said….”God uses flawed people to spread the knowledge of his son.”

And Willie…great message on Foundation.

Even if you don’t watch the videos…read the quick fun facts. INTERESTING.

Another good link from Kelly today…

In a “politically correct” world…I love that this guy had the guts to say what we are all really thinking. You know…REAL moms & dads. With real kids.  Check out his funny post.

To parents of small children: Let me be the one who says it out loud

Amen to that brotha!

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Something that stuck out to me in his post…

“One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be.”

Thanks Pinterest for that!

 

And seriously…this next one…I couldn’t have said it betta muhself!

Let’s bring the holidays down a notch

Fo SHO! Gotta read it! You will be high five-ing your computer screen in agreement with this mamma!  And puh-leeze…before you hate…I totally used to be “that mom” When I had one kid. In Kindergarten. And then…I  was over it.

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Be sure to check out those three links.

ALSO…

Here’s a GREAT deal from thredUp. You’re welcome.

$15 off your first order of practically new kids’ clothes from thredUP! Use code: LUCKY15 at checkout. New customers only, first purchase only Fine Print Cannot be combined with other offers. One code use per person. Does not apply to shipping

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Have you tried them yet? Let me know whatcha think in the comments on my blog.

B!tch-slapped by KARMA!

Ugh…Yesterday sucked big donkey dung.

Well…technically it all started the night before. And technically…I may or may not have brought it all on myself.

You see…the other day I did something that…although it was totally hilarious & entertaining & probably well deserved…I feel almost a teensy bit bad about now. I won’t go into the deets of it…but you can only imagine how great it was considering how awesome I am.

Anyhoo..prob the MAIN reason I am regretting it now…is because I believe I opened up a big can of Karma.

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The night of the day that I unleashed my extremely amusing antics…it was raining & nasty outside. The kids & I ran into the Dollar Store to grab some milk. I let Daynie and Garridon each carry a gallon of milk. As we were headed to the back to grab some pullups…I heard what I can only describe as a giant water balloon hit the ground behind me and bust open. Then I felt it! ALLLLL the flip over me. Up my leg, my rear, all over my $65 rhinestone flip flops. I turn around to a terrified & embarrassed Daynie…and look down to see milk covering the whole floor and me!  My WHOLE backside was covered in milk.

Oh the hell there isn't!

Oh the hell there isn’t!

 

And thenthen I had to get into my white chariot and drive all the way home covered in the mess. And it was wet & freezing cold outside. Do you know how hard it is to walk in flip flops that are completely covered in cow juice? I was slippin & sliding and trying not to bust my ass on top of it all.

Fast forward 12 hours…I woke up yesterday feeling like I was hit by a truck, Danny was on day 4 of being an ass wipe, and Garridon…let’s just say he was being his normal whiney baby I don’t wanna wear pants morning self.

Sooo..I started off screaming at G all morning..threatening him with anything I could think of trying to make him get dressed in the pants. I couldn’t find anything to wear…because Danny and I were in a four day long fight that has resulted in a no house cleaning stand off. So needless to say I have mountains of laundry in every room and my house looks trashed. Since I spent all my time screaming at Garridon & chasing him around with a paddle…I didn’t have time to wash my hair in the shower…I had about 2 min to rinse off. My day automatically sucks if I can’t get my 30 min shower in.

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I only have one pair of jeans that currently fit me & currenltly they are in the bottom of Mt. Everest in my laundry room..so…I had to wear a pair of jeans that are too big & fit me 35 lbs ago. Threw my hair back in a pony & ushered my kids to the car. That little guy was STILL crying. It’s pouring down rain. And he stands there. In the rain. “because Daynie got in first” Is this kid serious? So I have to put all my stuff down…run out in the rain…physically put him in the car..come back in..load allll my stuff back up in my arms..and BAM! I gotta go to the bathroom. Like right the hell now. So..once again I put all my stuff down…run to the bathroom…whimper because my tummy hurts so bad..then race back to reload my arms with all my stuff…get into the car (where Garridon is STILL crying) and rush to take the kids b/c we are now late. And it’s still cold & raining AND my car is freezing because my remote start (aka Danny) is trying to teach me some kind of lesson…one kid crying..one kid whining it’s cold…flippin world war three going on in my stomach. UGH!

Then when we meet up with my friend so she can grab the kids & take them to school…Garridon is in the back crying and refuses to get out of the car. I felt SOO bad..b/c ONE…my friend was getting soaking wet standing in the rain trying to coax G out of the car…(not to mentin my car getting soaked) and TWO..I felt bad that Garridon’s morning had gone just as bad as mine & now he had to go to school crying..Mom guilt to the max.  She finally gets him out of the car..I feel HORRIBLE when I see how wet she is! And then BAMMMM!

It hits me again! I’m thinkin…I can make it to work. So allll the way to work I’m red & sweating & breathing like I’m in labor…hee hee hoooo…HEE HEE HOOO. and  PRAYING! Even though I’m wondering in the back of my head..is it too early to ask for prayers after my little shenanigan the day before?

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I pull up to work..leave everything in the car…run for dear life…unlock the door..turn off the alarm…grab to open the door to the bathroom…and that’s when it happens.

I chit muhself.

Yes people you heard me right. I chit muhself.

NOT THREE FEET FROM THE EFFIN TOILET…I chit muhself.

The hardest part…trying to maneuver my way out of my nasty, three size too big britches..so I can finish muh bidness.

And as I sit there in horror…and assess muh situation. I felt like a total lame ass freak.

And then I knew!

karma

 

You put shit out into the world…you get shit back.

Lesson effin learned.

A beautiful faith…

Last Sunday…my church started a new video series…Walk His Trail movie message series. It contains exerts from the movie End of the Spear (a true story about five missionaries killed by a tribe in the Amazon) and commentary/testimony from Steve Saint (the son of one of the missionaries killed.) It is a video series sent to pastors to share with their church.

Here is the trailer…

Last week the first video shook a lot of us up & really made us think.

A true story of 5 missionaries in the 50’s that were reaching out to the tribes to bring them God’s word, were brutally murdered. Some of the family members of the missionaries murdered…actually later went to live in the tribe along with the same members of the tribe that did the killing. They taught them God’s love & showed them the error of their ways. They grew to love them like family.

I don’t know anyone whose faith and commitment to the Lord is that strong…that they would and COULD put their anger and hurt aside…to continue the missionaries mission. To obey God and forgive and continue to witness to this tribe. To obey God’s commandment to LOVE these people that murdered their loved one.

The story itself  AH-MAZING….the testimony of the son is unbelievable.

Tonight was the second video. I can’t find the actual videos with commentary we watch at church..but here is an exert from the actual movie.

At the 5:55 mark…there was a conversation between one of the missionaries & his eight year old son. It really shook me.

The father was about to leave on the plane to go into the Amazon jungle. The boy asked his father…. “If the Waodani attack will you defend yourself? Will you use your guns?” The father’s answer was nothing short of amazing to me… “Son, we can’t shoot the Waodani. They’re not ready for heaven. We are.”

On that trip…the 5 missionaries were attacked. And they did not use their guns to defend their selves.

What a beautiful unwavering faith. What a beautiful story. Beautiful testimony. A beautiful honor to God.

 

#JanBlogADay: Beautiful

Just DON’T do it mmmkayyy???

Grrr

Today is day numba tres of the #JanBlogADay Challenge and the topic is: PET PEEVES.

Anyone that knows me..knows I have quite a few “weird” things about me.

I think my pet peeves & my weird little freak out initiators pretty much run hand n hand.

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But..in the interest of not letting on to my readers that don’t actually know me in real life what a fruitcake I am….I’m going to limit this list to just my top two..

 

1

GUM

I HATE it.

I think it’s NASTY.

NASTY. NASTY. NASTY!!

I about had a fuh-reeeek out moment yesterday when I was on Pinterest “doing research” for my bucket list post and came across a couple completely gross and insanely hideous NASTY pins.

http://pinterest.com/pin/463659724106111621/

http://pinterest.com/pin/284712007662982407/

Sorry..but I just can’t post the images without seriously upchucking my lunch.

I just for the life of me can’t understand what possesses humans to do that?

Since as far back as I remember…the sight, smell, & taste of gum makes me nauseated. Like seriously. I can’t even see it on Tv or pics of it.

Even sitting next to someone who is chewing gum sends my body and mind into panic mode. I can SMELL it. I can hear them chewing it. My brain just rolls over & over the grossness of it while my body tries to refrain from puking.

Like seriously.

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Who knew this was a disease? Well..it is.

Tell me..why would anyone want to chew on the same piece of food for hours?

And don’t even get me started on the smacking..or blowing bubbles…or sticking it to stuff, or those freaks that take it out and pull it and play with it!

You don't know how much anguish I endured to post this photo.

You don’t know how much anguish I endured to post this photo.

EVEN Oprah hates gum! Nuff said!

Oprah is an American icon…so if you don’t hate gum too…then you’re just un-American.

2

TOOTHPASTE & people brushing their teeth in front of me.

NASTY NASTY NASTY.

Again..as far back as I can remember..all things to do with teeth brushing makes me gag.

The spit, the slobber, the taste of ALLL toothpastes. GROSS.

This is why I get gassed for a cleaning at the dentist.

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Our whole family brushes their teeth in the shower. That way I don’t have to hear or smell it. Or see the toothpaste remnants in the sink or little dots on the mirror. Gross!

I can’t even watch someone on tv brush their teeth. But please..that shit is gross…why do they even do it??

I seriously have the best husband ever! He caters to all my little quirks & makes adjustments accordingly. He used to be a gum eater when we got together…he dropped it completely. And he brushes his teeth in the shower and has taken on all kid teeth brushing duties. My hero!

 

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